I have a necklace that i wear almost every day. It's a circle with a heart inside. On the circle there is a phrase "be the change you wish to see in the world". A few days ago one of my youth leaders asked me what the necklace said. So, i told him. He simply replied with the words, "Are you?". I've asked myself that question. Am i the change that i wish to see in the world?
Seventeen years ago my mom was only 24 weeks pregnant with me and being rushed to the Hospital. I was born on January 31, weighing in at 1lb. 12oz. The doctors delivered the news to my parents that I was not going to make it, and if i did i would have cerebral palsy (CP). Two days before i was born, on January 29 a little boy named Steven was born and in the same condition. My dad was on his way up to the Hospital room and in the elevator he met a guy (Steven's dad). They were sharing with each other the dreadful news that they had both just received. Their children were either going to die or have to live with this disease their whole entire life. Never thinking that their lives were about to go in completely different directions. After being in the hospital for about four months i finally was able to come home. I was still on oxygen and i had Retinopathy of prematurity (ROP) which means that my retina was detached. If you were looking at a clock, my retina was detached from 10 to 2. I had surgery and it was reattached. I came home from the hospital pretty much a healthy baby. Steven came home from the hospital diagnosed with CP.
Growing up our parents stayed in touch and I was always invited to Steven's birthday parties. They were ALWAYS at the roller skating rink. I had to wear real roller skates....not a good idea. I can't roller skate for the life of me! I remember sometimes feeling out of place at his parties. He and all his friends were in wheel chairs, i was supposed to be but i wasn't. I haven't seen Steven in years, but the last time i saw him was a really good night!! They came over to our house one night. I'm guessing Steven and I were about 9 or 10. Steven's dad (that's horrible...i don't even remember his name) laid him down on our living room floor. Steven LOVED music!! His dad started playing the piano. Steven was so happy and he kept making noises and it just showed that he was so happy. Now here's a boy who can't hold his own head up, he can't talk, has to eat out of a straw, but he can get so happy over the sound of a piano.
When i was, I'd say 15 i remember being angry with God that i wasn't in a wheel chair. I was angry over the fact that i could walk, talk, eat normally. I was angry over the fact that all that was wrong with me was that i had to wear glasses. I had the right to be angry. Didn't I? No, i don't have the right to be angry because i am blessed! I've been given the opportunity to go to school, to learn. I can talk to my friends, i can fight with my parents, and kiss them goodnight. I can annoy my brothers. I have the privilege to stand before others and share the Gospel of Jesus Christ! Why is that me? Why is Steven the one that's hurting?
"Be the change you wish to see in the world". I think about that phrase all the time. Am i that change? I think about that question all the time too. I haven't seen Steven in years. To be completely honest i feel horrible about that. I think about him all the time, but i don't go and see him. I can change that. There are children dying of hunger and no one does anything about that. You can change that! There's fighting in your home. You can change that.
So, as the school year is starting i am making a vow to myself to go and see Steven. Sometimes i still ask myself the question. Why? Why am i the healthy one? The answer: "to be the change i wish to see in the world".
