If you could do anything...

A couple nights ago a friend of mine was sitting across the table from me and asked, "If you could do anything, what would you do?" For some reason I felt the need to answer pretty quickly. If i remember correctly, I said something like, "I'm not exactly sure…I love to write." 

I shook it off at the end of the night and didn't give it much thought after that.  I thought about it a lot today.  There's a lot of things I could do…

- Travel the World

- Go skydiving 

- Write a book

- Read a book

- Start a non-profit organization

- Raise money for someone in need

- Move to a different state

- Serve Jesus

I could serve the God of the universe! Is that what I'm doing? Am i serving the Lord in what I'm doing? Whether that is making somebody's coffee, or photographing an 8 mos. old, am I giving God all of me?  Do people see Jesus in my life?  Do i have faith that God can and may use me in a way that i would never have imagined? After all these questions ran through my head I had to ask myself that original question one more time.  "If you could do anything, what would you do?" I answered it with more detail the second time around.  "I want to humble myself before the Lord and be His hands and feet.  I want to reach others for Christ, and I want every single person to see Jesus in me." 

If you could do anything, what would you do?  

A letter to my small group girls

I'm the type of person that will have a conversation with somebody and once the conversation is over, I am always playing back things in my head that I wish I would have said. Writing things down really helps, and I love writing letters to people!

I decided as a New Years Resolution I would take the time to really invest in my students lives.  But, before i took the time out of my schedule to take them out for lunch or coffee, i wanted to write them a letter.  I wanted to tell them exactly how i feel, exactly how much i care, and exactly how much they mean to me.

Dear Sarah, Jenn, Olyvia, and Emily,

Thank you so much for opening up your hearts to me! Thank you for giving me the wonderful opportunity to guide you and be your small group leader.  I am so grateful!

I am also scared. I've never done anything like this before.  But, I'm ready for the challenge.  I have been able to get to know you over the past four months and i cannot wait to see what God has in store for each of you.

I want you to know that I am here for you, every step of the way.  I want you girls to know that you can tell me anything.  I know it's a little scary, but looking back on the female leaders that I had in high school, I was able to talk to them about anything. And, I am still talking to one of them, years later.  And, it is nice being able to talk to a woman that, although is older, is not my mother.  I don't want to come across like a mother to you.  I want you to know that you can lay it all out on the table, but you also don't have to share anything that you are not comfortable with.

It is my goal to be completely honest.  And if I am being completely honest I want to share a couple things that I've struggled with.  I want to share these things with you because i want you all to know that if you're ever struggling with any of these, you can come to me.  Oh, and some of these...i still struggle with, I'm human, and only 20. :)

I've struggled with:

1. Being confident in myself

2. Feeling pretty

3. Being able to see people for who they really are

4. Being respectful to my parents

5. Loving my parents

6. Waiting on God's timing

7. Boys

8. Feeling loved

9. Breakups

10. Reading my bible every day

11. Having a relationship with Christ

12. Selfishness

13. Wanting something that wasn't mine

14. Being content with what God has placed in front of me

15. Temptation

16.  Being single

17.  Being in a relationship with somebody that wasn't saved

18. Not being able to stop eating tootsie rolls (but that's just because they're right next to my computer ;-p)

19.  School

20.  Praying

21.  Being the person that God has called me to be

...and that's just a few. And I guarantee you, you all will go through something on that list.  And that's why I am here.  I'm here because I've made mistakes and I've messed up, and I really don't want to see any of you go through what I have gone through.  But, I know that you will! And, I want to help you through it.

You're all so beautiful and hilarious! You girls make me laugh so much! Every week I look forward to seeing your cute faces. :) It definitely brightens up my day! I've gone through small group withdraw over the past two weeks! You girls have changed my life! :)

If I could offer one piece of advice right now it would be to take the time out of your day, even if it's five minutes, and spend time with the Lord. I have always, always, always struggled with doing this every day.  But, let me just tell you, it is SO worth it! Christ has given us His Word to guide us and direct us on the right path, and I hope that all of you can see that.  If you ever want me to take time and read something with you, or if you don't know what to read, just let me know!

I know high school is busy! I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have used the excuse "i don't have time to read my bible right now." I used it yesterday, and can I just tell you, I had a really bad day yesterday! But, I'm pretty sure if I started my day off right, it wouldn't have been so bad.  There's always time, even if you have to wake up 10 minutes earlier or go to bed 10 minutes later...make time.  And, I know you can because I've texted some of you at midnight...and you're still up, tweeting, snapchatting, and posting pictures on Instagram ;-p.

I hope all of you can see how much I want to be there for you.  I do plan on having one on one time with each of you regularly once I get my budget in order.  See what you get to look forward to when you're out of high school; budgeting your money and then realizing how quickly it disappears because of, gas, car insurance, car repairs, food, bills, college, etc. So, enjoy your worry-free time in high school! :)

I love you girls SO much and cannot wait to see where the Lord takes you over the next three and a half years!

Love and Blessings,
Autumn

Grace Stories and a Song of Praise

I'm a big Rascal Flatts fan! Just in case you were wondering.  When there song "Changed" came out, I was excited because one of my favorite country artists had a pretty awesome song out.  I never really thought about the song itself, (You should go and listen to it! Right now...it won't disappoint!) until about 20 minutes ago.

I grew up in a Christian home, going to church every single Sunday, was involved in church activities, such as helping out in the nursery, going to different youth groups, I also went to a Christian school from K5 to 12th grade.  I was saved when I was eight years old.  I remember that day very clearly. I think I always will.  Growing up, I was always surrounded by Christians, and for the most part I still am.  I sat through a Bible class every single week day, I sat through other classes where Jesus always came up in the conversation. I sat under preaching every single Sunday, sometimes twice on a Sunday.  Saturdays were centered around Christ too.  So, I've heard a lot about Christ.

Since I was around so many christian peers, teachers, family, and leaders, I looked at God as just this being who was always there, but I didn't really need to talk to Him ever because I knew that I was "okay".  I was saved and Christ was in almost every conversation. Why would I need a relationship with somebody that I can't even see? That's the mindset that I was living with, until about a couple months ago.

Over the past four months God has brought so many Christians into my life.  You might be thinking, "Oh more Christians...well what's going to change now." I honestly thought the same thing.  For some time I wanted to get as faraway from the Christian life-style as possible.  And just when I thought I was about to, God grabbed a hold of my heart and said, "Excuse me, you're going to be changed by me". And that's exactly what happened.  I started leading a small group at my church.  I lead four freshman girls and the experience has forever changed my life.

When I first decided to be a part of the youth group, I signed up for the wrong reasons.  I signed up because I wanted more friends because all of my old friends were away at school. I signed up because i wanted to meet a guy...i met a guy...and it blew up in my face. Which i am now very thankful for.  But, I also signed up because I knew that I had to be an example to high school students, and I truly knew in my heart that it would be good for me. And it has been! I wanted to help guide these girls because I don't want them to make the same mistakes that I did, in high school.  It took about two and a half months until I really let God get a hold of my heart.  I was excited to be a part of this ministry, but at the same time I still felt like I was "safe", like I didn't need that relationship with Christ because here I am, once again surrounded by all these Christians.  But, the people that I am serving with have shown what it's like to be saved by grace and be changed by God, in a way that I had never seen, and I wanted that!

Ya know how you hear somebody's grace story, and they might say how they were addicted to drugs and God completely changed there life around?  To be completely honest, growing up I kind of wanted to have that type of grace story.  But I am now realizing that God is completely changing my life around.  I was never addicted to drugs, but I was addicted to living a life of trying to find satisfaction in everything, but God.  Let me just tell you, it does not work!

I always knew that God was the answer because that's what i was taught, but I never really wanted it.  I never wanted it until I met four freshman girls.  And I knew that I was not going to be able to guide these girls in the right direction, in the way that God wanted me to, until I let God take a hold of my own heart. And I am so grateful for a God who is forgiving and who loves, like...i don't even know....He just loves and loves, and you can't even grasp it! For the first time, in my life I feel changed.  I feel like God is molding my heart into something beautiful.  And I am so excited to see what GOD has for me, in my life.

The Lord your God is in your midst,
    a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
    he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.   - Zephaniah 3:17

Finding Joy in the Simple Things

Over the past couple months my life has been filled with "wants" and "needs".  When my car died over the summer I needed a brand new car.  I need to move out of my parents house.  I want an iPhone.  I want a better job. I want to make more money. Yesterday my perspective changed big time when I spent a couple hours with a friend of mine, who is a pure gem.

Yesterday we stepped foot into a beautiful home! I won't go into details as to why exactly we were in this house, but it was beautiful! As I walked around, paying attention to little details I kept thinking about how I want to live in a house like this one.  So I voiced how I felt.  As we pulled out of the driveway I simply said, "I've always wanted to live in a big house."  He responded with, "I find living in Haiti, on the bare minimum, attractive."

When I heard those words come out of his mouth it stopped me in my tracks.  I probably said something like, "wow, seriously!?" because I did not have a clue how to respond to that one. I was...in awe...i guess you could say.  You might be thinking, "How can somebody find that attractive?".

That is exactly what happens when Jesus steps in. You find joy in the simple things.

I never grew up in a big house, or with a lot of money, but I have been blessed beyond words! I grew up going to a Christian school, which meant expensive tuition, which also meant that I would never grow up in that big beautiful home that I always wanted to.  

But I'm learning to find joy in the simple things like, having my dad wait up for me until I get home from work every night.  Usually our conversations consist of talking about money, Dave Ramsey, or how God opened up a door at work for me to share my story.  Simple things like, late night phone calls with my older brother while he is traveling for school.  Simple things like, sitting down with my younger brother watching the Red Sox push to win the World Series.  Simple things like, laughing with my mom over something funny that happened to us earlier in the week.

Simple things like, spending time with God in a coffee shop.

I don't need a new car, my own apartment, an iPhone, or a better job.  I absolutely need Jesus!

When Jesus steps into your life that does not mean that your life is going to be easy.  It may actually mean that it can be pretty difficult, but we depend on Christ and we trust Him to carry us through.  That's the beauty of Christ,  He takes us through tough situations to grow in Him.  He also takes us through beautiful situations to grow in Him.

It's been a while since I've written and I woke up with this huge desire to just share what God has lain on my heart.  I really believe that God is giving me the opportunity to share not just to hopefully encourage somebody, but also to encourage myself.

I never once thought that living in Haiti would be attractive until somebody brought Jesus into the picture! Jesus is so, so, so powerful that He can take something like that and turn it into something beautiful.

Surrendering your life over to Christ is the most amazing decision someone will ever make!  When you surrender your life over to Christ you have this overwhelming peace.  You start living with the mindset of, "Okay God, here I am. Do what YOU want with my life."

When you surrender your life over to Christ you find joy in the simple things.

 

Raise Our Voices For Their Ransom

I’ve seen videos about sex trafficking, I’ve seen a movie about it, I’ve read about it, I’ve even walked the streets of Tampa, where the biggest sex industry in the US is held. But, it has never hit me so hard, as it did today.

Every Tuesday night I attend a college group at The Chapel, called Vintage.  Our goal is to raise $9,000 to help stop little girls from being sold into sex slavery, in Cambodia.  We are hoping to raise much more than our goal. I was given a mason jar with the word, “RAISE” on it.  We are using these jars to collect money. I was thinking about these little girls all morning.  How their innocence has just been stripped away from them, and there is nothing that they can do about it.  I kept trying to imagine what their life must be like…I can’t even find the words to describe some of the things that I read today.  These facts, which are so true…that’s what kills me, girls all over the world are being sold into prostitution and many of us don’t even know about it!

When I thought of the idea of writing a blog post about getting the word out and trying to figure out a way to raise money I figured that it would be best to research what I would be writing about. Here are some facts that I got from http://facts.randomhistory.com/human-trafficking-facts.html.

-        13 million children around the world are victims of human trafficking.

-        An estimated 30,000 victims of sex trafficking die each year from abuse, disease, torture, and neglect. Eighty percent of those sold into sexual slavery are under 24, and some are as young as six years old.

-        Ludwig “Tarzan” Fainberg, a convicted trafficker, said, “You can buy a woman for $10,000 and make your money back in a week if she is pretty and young. Then everything else is profit

-        Most human trafficking in the United States occurs in New York, California, and Florida.

-        Human trafficking around the globe is estimated to generate a profit of anywhere from $9 billion to $31.6 billion. Half of these profits are made in industrialized countries

-        Due to globalization, every continent of the world has been involved in human trafficking, including a country as small as Iceland

…as young as six years old…!! I don’t even know what to say! Is this really what our world is coming to?

At The Chapel, we are partnering with Agape International, and specifically raising money for girls in Cambodia. All the proceeds will go to Agape International. Here are some facts about sex trafficking, in Cambodia.

-        Prostituted girls, most of them aged 15 to18 years of age, are found in the Svay Pak red-light district of Cambodia. Many girls are much younger. Most of them are smuggled in from Vietnam and all are bound by contracts, which last from six months to over a year. Svay Pak has the largest number of prostituted Vietnamese girls. ("The Street of Little Flowers," rewritten from 'Children of the Dust,' by MIKEL FLAMM and NGO KIM CUC, Bangkok Post, 23 February 1997)

-        Virgins, who have been sold to brothels by trafficking agents, are confined to the brothel or a hotel room until the first client comes. Due to the belief that sex with a virgin has rejuvenating properties, her first client is charged an expensive amount. Advertised as "special commodities," virgins are also attractive in that they are less likely to have AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases. The customer pays from $300 to $400 (7,500 to 10,000 baht) to have sex with her for one week in a local hotel chosen by the brothel owner. ("Children of the dust," rewritten from 'Children of the Dust,' by MIKEL FLAMM and NGO KIM CUC, Bangkok Post, 23 February 1997)

-        When recruited by brokers in a village, the girls' families are told they will be employed and be able to send money home. After the girls are purchased, usually for about $150, they are brought to a hotel room or safe house where they are kept until they can be sold to their first buyer for $300 to $400 for a week. But after this, the girl is considered "used goods" and her value drops dramatically to as little as $2 per sexual transaction. (Laura Bobak, "For Sale: The Innocence of Cambodia," Ottawa Sun, 24 October 1996)

-        http://www.uri.edu/artsci/wms/hughes/cambodia.htm

Some of these girls in Cambodia are even sold into slavery by their own parents! That is disgusting!! A mother and father are willing to let their child’s innocence, purity, and their life be taken away from them just for money! That is so heart breaking!

I hope this post will help people to realize what is going on in our world today and how serious this situation really is. If you would like to make a stand and help donate to this cause, you can go to www.vintagetruth.com and click on the RAISE tab and then just follow the directions, or contact me at autiephotography@gmail.com

Proverbs 22:9  "Generous hands are blessed hands because they give bread to the poor." (The Message)

Thank You!!

Love and Blessings,

Autumn Elizabeth

Change

       I have a necklace that i wear almost every day. It's a circle with a heart inside. On the circle there is a phrase "be the change you wish to see in the world". A few days ago one of my youth leaders asked me what the necklace said. So, i told him. He simply replied with the words, "Are you?". I've asked myself that question. Am i the change that i wish to see in the world?

     Seventeen years ago my mom was only 24 weeks pregnant with me and being rushed to the Hospital. I was born on January 31, weighing in at 1lb. 12oz. The doctors delivered the news to my parents that I was not going to make it, and if i did i would have cerebral palsy (CP). Two days before i was born, on January 29 a little boy named Steven was born and in the same condition. My dad was on his way up to the Hospital room and in the elevator he met a guy (Steven's dad). They were sharing with each other the dreadful news that they had both just received. Their children were either going to die or have to live with this disease their whole entire life. Never thinking that their lives were about to go in completely different directions. After being in the hospital for about four months i finally was able to come home. I was still on oxygen and i had Retinopathy of prematurity (ROP) which means that my retina was detached. If you were looking at a clock, my retina was detached from 10 to 2. I had surgery and it was reattached. I came home from the hospital pretty much a healthy baby. Steven came home from the hospital diagnosed with CP. 


     Growing up our parents stayed in touch and I was always invited to Steven's birthday parties. They were ALWAYS at the roller skating rink. I had to wear real roller skates....not a good idea. I can't roller skate for the life of me! I remember sometimes feeling out of place at his parties. He and all his friends were in wheel chairs, i was supposed to be but i wasn't. I haven't seen Steven in years, but the last time i saw him was a really good night!! They came over to our house one night. I'm guessing Steven and I were about 9 or 10. Steven's dad (that's horrible...i don't even remember his name) laid him down on our living room floor. Steven LOVED music!! His dad started playing the piano. Steven was so happy and he kept making noises and it just showed that he was so happy. Now here's a boy who can't hold his own head up, he can't talk, has to eat out of a straw, but he can get so happy over the sound of a piano. 


     When i was, I'd say 15 i remember being angry with God that i wasn't in a wheel chair. I was angry over the fact that i could walk, talk, eat normally. I was angry over the fact that all that was wrong with me was that i had to wear glasses. I had the right to be angry. Didn't I? No, i don't have the right to be angry because i am blessed! I've been given the opportunity to go to school, to learn. I can talk to my friends, i can fight with my parents, and kiss them goodnight. I can annoy my brothers. I have the privilege to stand before others and share the Gospel of Jesus Christ! Why is that me? Why is Steven the one that's hurting? 


     "Be the change you wish to see in the world". I think about that phrase all the time. Am i that change? I think about that question all the time too. I haven't seen Steven in years. To be completely honest i feel horrible about that. I think about him all the time, but i don't go and see him. I can change that. There are children dying of hunger and no one does anything about that. You can change that! There's fighting in your home. You can change that. 


     So, as the school year is starting i am making a vow to myself to go and see Steven. Sometimes i still ask myself the question. Why? Why am i the healthy one? The answer: "to be the change i wish to see in the world".